After a hard day at school, your child may experience a full-blown melt down at home. This could be caused by fights with friends, feeling left out, feeling embarrassed, stupid, or dumb. Kids often don’t have the words to express how they feel, so it comes out in their behavior when they feel safe at home.
Here are 3 ways to help your child find calm, so you have a chance to connect on the challenges they faced during their day.
Take a breath – Teach your child how to breath helps regulate their physiological response to strong emotions. Do you this; you can say, “Let’s take a deep breath together.” Then together, breath in through your nose for five seconds and then out through your mouth for five seconds. Or try belly breaths, regular breathing with your hands on your stomach.
20-second hug – Ask your child if they would like a 20- second hug. It releases oxytocin in both of your brains, promoting feelings of bonding, love, and well-being. It also provides tactile and proprioceptive sensory input, which some children need to feel calm (see other sensory-based strategies here).
Move it – Encourage your child to get outside, or do physical activity in the house. Physical activity releases endorphins and clears away residual stress in your child’s body.
Connect – Once your child is calm, find time to connect about their day. This could be while you play Lego together, draw, cook or walk the dog. Gently ask your child what happened during their day. You could pose, “What was a rose/thorn from your day?” Validate the emotions your child experienced and work together problem solve ways to persevere through the challenges.